I haven't been updating. There's two reasons.
One, I've been tossing ideas around for site redesigns for a while, and I keep wanting to wait until that's in place before I start writing about things. But then I never get work on it done, so things just kind of die out and do nothing.
Two, I'm just really fucking sick of things in general right now. No, not just right now. But it's just been getting harder to fake my way around.
Chances are, if you're even reading this at all, you'll find out by some other means if anything here changes.
Until then, go somewhere else.
( 15 comments )For some reason, every person I've ever spoken to has been filled with the overwhelming desire to punch me in the face. Why is that?
I don't know how old these kids are, so I may just be being a heartless dick here, but, paraphrased from the AIC and Spelling Bee of Canada Ontario Senior Championships just now:
PRONOUNCER: Your word is "regale".
KID: Could I have the definition, please?
PRONOUNCER: (gives the definition)
KID: Could you use it in a sentence?
PRONOUNCER: (does so)
KID: Could you repeat the word?
PRONOUNCER: "Regale."
KID: "Regale." R-I-G-A-L-E.
JUDGE: Incorrect.
(Kid leaves. Next kid, who was in line, on stage, during all of this, comes up to the mic.)
PRONOUNCER: Kid #2, your word is "regale".
KID #2: Could I have the definition please?
PRONOUNCER: (gives same definition)
KID #2: Could you use it in a sentence?
PRONOUNCER: (gives exact same sentence)
KID #2: Is it a proper noun?
PRONOUNCER: (beat) ...No.
KID #2: "Regale". ... Could you repeat the word?
PRONOUNCER: "Regale."
KID #2: "Regale." R-E-G-A-I-L-L-E.
JUDGE: Incorrect.
(Kid #3 comes up.)
PRONOUNCER: Kid #3, your word is "regale."
KID #3: "Regale." R-E-G-A-L-E.
JUDGE: Correct.
Of course, while I was writing this, I watched the word "trestle" demolish like fifteen kids in a row, many of whom asked for repetitions of the word, the definition, its use in a sentence, and subsequently used a spelling that a previous kid tried and failed.
Still, I feel kind of bad for some of these kids' luck... how are words like "overbearing" and "regale" in the same category as words like "coterie" and "batik"? I also got suckered by "tenement" but mainly because the pronouncer was saying it like "tannament". I blame subtle Canadian accents.
( 4 comments )You've probably noticed that I'm not updating. That's because I'm busy as hell so far this term. Apologies. Updates will be sporadic, but I might get a quick RSS feed up to make it easier to follow the rare updates that do occur.
I'm back in Waterloo, by the way, in case you didn't know for some reason.
( 1 comment )This is what happens when I try to write stream-of-consciousness song lyrics at 1 AM to nonexistent music.
I've got no nose on my face
All that I've got is empty space
My lips, my eyes, seem out of place
I'm one alone in the human race
People wake up every day
They stretch, they yawn, they smell the hay,
The dew drops splayed across the grassy plain
They never stop to think how life
Would be if mom had dropped the knife
Into the crib where baby-they was layin'
They'd suck ass if they were asked to live my pain.
(something musically interesting happens here)
People tell me every day
I must be strong to live this way
To raise my chin and tilt my head with pride
I'd like to tell them go to hell
And fornicate yourselves as well
I walk like this to keep a balanced stride
A bit of mass is all I ask to live my life.
God do I just really fucking hate humanity
Senseless, scentless reproducers gardening their genes
Darwin says a man like me is doomed to die unloved, alone
Well fuck you, Charles, you're rotten now, bacterial biscuits, maggot scones,
But they'll live on and on your skull in fungal condos priced to sell
Inside the hole where once your precious nose was held and yet beheld
Fitting, now, how if you could smell it'd probably smell like hell
People grow up every day
Becoming what their dreams would say's
The only way for them to find their joy
Society has no place for me
Without an act of charity
By company policy always I'm employed
I'm paid to sweep but just to keep the quota buoyed.
I've got no nose on my face
I cannot walk at an even pace
Though people claim that it's no disgrace
I know my place in the human race
I am a stain on the human race
Clearly, I must be far smarter and more attentive than your entire staff, creative team and marketing team who have been working on your flagship product for multiple years, on the basis that I'm too stupid to pick up a motherfucking dictionary.
Someone please tell me this letter was a joke. Please?
( 6 comments )